I Promise
by Old Russian Lady
Summary: Red's sentence is up and she gets out of Litchfield. Nicky isn't far behind her. How will life be for the mother and daughter outside of prison?
1. Chapter 1

"This is so fucking good! You finally did it, Red!" Nicky said between bites of a coconut cake that Red made. She had been trying for years to come close to making this cake as good as Ms. Claudette and finally she did it.

"Yeah, Red. This shit," Boo leaned in to whisper, "is better than Ms. Claudette's."

"Shhhh!" They all said at the same time.

"So what's the occasion, Red?" Morello asked, whipping her mouth with her shirt sleeve.

"I guess I just wanted to try something new."

Lie.

"But why now? Why not like last week for Piper's birthday party, which would have been so much better with this white coconut cake to go along with those white toilet paper decorations!" Boo joked around.

"I just thought of it actually."

Lie.

"Well either way, it tastes great." Piper said happily.

Red looked at Piper. She had known her for a months, almost a year. In the beginning she wasn't liked, but Red came to like her. She worked so smartly about the back cream when she first got her. She did all she could with what she had. Red appreciated that.

Red looked at Alex. She didn't have much of a relationship with her. But what she did know, she seemed like a girl who wanted to keep to herself for the most part. She didn't want any trouble; Red liked that.

Red looked at Boo. Boo had been her friend for years. She was sarcastic more often than not, but she would do anything for anyone who was on her good side; she was loyal. Red admired that.

Red looked at Morello. Lorna was one of her girls, ever so sweet and always wanting to help out around the kitchen although her "help" was never helpful. She was always so positive. Her lipstick always looked lovely, she took care of herself. Red supported that.

Red looked at Nicky. Nicky was a whole other story. Nicky was very special to Red. She was one of her girls, one of her daughters. But unlike the others, Nicky really was her daughter. Not biological, but yet more so than the others. Nicky was the only one who called her "Mom" and Nicky was the only one who Red felt truly in her heart that she would do absolutely everything and anything for. Nicky was different and in the best way possible. They were so very close and Red loved her with every fiber of her being. Comforted at the thought every time, Red knew Nicky loved her just as much. Red needed that.

Dinner was over and they all slowly started to leave the cafeteria, scattering to various locations like the bathrooms or their bunks. Red got up and went to the kitchen to finish cleaning up like she always did.

Nicky followed her.

Red walked over to the sink to get some of the rags wet so she could start whipping down the counter tops. She turned around and was startled.

"Oh, Nicky. You scared me."

"Sorry, I guess I didn't realize how quiet I was."

"What's on your mind?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, you're back here aren't you? What's wrong? I can tell, I'm your mother."

"I want to know what's wrong with you?"

Red felt surprised but didn't let her face show it.

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong with me."

"I can tell. I'm your daughter."

Norma walked in behind Nicky.

"Oh good Norma. I'm almost finished. Could you just put the trays on the drying rack? Then we are done."

"Nicky I'll come to your bunk tonight, ok?" Red said softly.

"Alright." Nicky sort of hesitated to leave, but she did after Red nodding at her.

"Norma, I'm going to tell her tonight."

Norma gave Red a very surprised look.

"No. No, I haven't told her yet." Red's eyes began to water. "I know, I'm a terrible mother who is about to become a worse one." Her tears threatened to spill over but she fought it.

There would be enough tear shedding tonight.

*Later that night*

Red lay awake in her bed, waiting. Hesitating. Wondering if she was doing the right thing. Oh, what was she thinking! Of course she was. She had to tell her and she was going to. But is now the right time? The sooner the better.

Red got up and snuck out of her bunk to Nicky's.

She waited to late and her daughter had fallen asleep.

It was rare, but these moments have happened before. The beautiful moments when Red got to see Nicky without a worry on her face. The beautiful moments when Red got to see her sweet girl look as innocent as ever. She didn't want to but she had to wake her.

She put her hand on Nicky's shoulder and shook her gently. "Nicky. Nicky." She whispered. "Nicky, wake up."

Slowly, her eyes began to open. When she opened them completely, she jumped at the sight of someone hovering over her.

"Shhh, it's ok. It's only me." Red soothed, resting her hand on Nicky's.

"What time is it? You said you were coming to my bunk, I waited. Didn't realize it would be this late."

"Sorry."

"So, tell me what's wrong." Nicky's eyes poured so much concern into Red's.

"I, ummm.." Red's eyes watered.

"Ma, what's going on? Are you going to cry? You never cry! I've only see you cry once and that's when Tricia died. Oh no, did someone die? Are you dying? Ma?!" Panic rose in Nicky's voice the longer she spoke.

"No, no. No." Red tried to calm down.

"Ok good. Well, what is it?"

"I..love you." Red said through her quivering lips.

"And you know I love you too." Nicky assured.

"I'm..." Red couldn't get the words out, not with the lump forming in her throat, indicating just how badly she wanted to cry.

"...pregnant." Nicky joked and smiled. "Alright, alright. If it's a boy, I'd say name him Nicholas and call him Nichols and if it's a girl, you gotta name her Nichole and call her Nicky." She was laughing at her own little joke.

"...getting out."

Nicky stopped laughing. The smile was gone instantly from her face. "What?"

"I'm getting out. My sentence is almost up."

Nicky was dumbfounded. Never in a million years would she have expected this to be what Red wanted to tell her.

Now it was Nicky's turn to have tears in her eyes and choke on her words.

"well my sentence is almost up too." Nicky said, sniffling. "I've only got 5 months left. It's not so bad." She sounded a little hopeful. "When do you get out?"

"On Friday." Red cried.

"That's two days from now..." Tears were streaming down Nicky's face harder and harder the more she realized the reality of the situation.

"Mom..."

"I'm getting out...Oh, Nicky..."

Nicky grabbed Red's neck and pulled her close. Their embrace lasted for a long time. Both were crying. Both were scared.


	2. Chapter 2

The next two days were very, very tough. Nicky didn't leave Red's side, and Red wanted it that way. She needed to get as much time with her daughter as she could before she left this place the next day.

Nicky helped her cook breakfast, lunch, and dinner; helped her clean up before and after each meal. Nicky was beside herself. It's as though she was there physically but not mentally or emotionally. She didn't know where she was mentally and emotionally...somewhere far from there.

And Red was the same way.

As they were cleaning up after dinner, Nicky brought up the inevitable, although she really didn't want to. It was tough. She never thought she'd ever actually have to talk to her Mom about leaving this place. About leaving her...

"So where are you going to live?"

Red stopped whipping the table tops and looked up at Nicky, who had stopped cleaning a while ago to just watch her.

"Well as you know, Dimitri and I split up but he left me the house. So I'll be there I guess."

"Oh. And don't they make you get a job or something?"

"Yes, I have that worked out too. Dimitri left me the shop as well so, even though it's closed now, I'll get it back up and running again. Once I'm back in there, business will be booming again." She said, a little hopefully. "Dimitri always told me everyone missed my cooking and that's why they stopped coming."

"Oh, well that's good."

"It'll be a struggle but it's all I have "

Nicky just nodded her head. "Sounds like you're going to be alright, Mom."

"I might have a stable plan but, listen my sweet girl, I will not be alright. The people who put me in here, are still out there. Once they figure out that I'm out, they might come back for me. Finish me off, you know? There's a lot of unfinished business." Nicky could hear the fear in Red's voice.

"That's scary, Ma."

"It is. Makes me want to stay here where I know that I am safe." She closed her eyes for a moment. When she opened them again she had tears in them and looked at Nicky. "Where I know that I have you."

"Ma, don't start this now." Nicky pleaded in a soothing way, feeling tears come to her own eyes. "Tomorrow morning is going to be rough enough, save it for then."

"You know, I always knew this day would come. We always knew that I would be getting out before you. But I never thought of it actually happening, you know?" Silent tears were running down Red's cheeks. "It was always so far in the future. As though we had years and years to plan for it or before we even had to think about it. It seemed unreal..."

Nicky walked over to Red, but couldn't help herself, she was crying too. Nicky whipped the tears from her mother's cheeks, like so often was the reverse, and whispered, "You're going to be ok. Make it out there, 5 months without me and then when I'm out, I'll come find you and make sure no one messes with you. No one is going to bother you, not while I'm around. You've protected me beyond all that I could pay you back for in here. You've saved my life a few times, and," Nicky began choked up at this point, "you became my mother. So, let me protect you out there."

Red was sobbing at this point, both because she was going to miss her daughter to no end and because she was so touched by her sweet girl's words.

"You'll live with me?"

"Live with you? You want me to?"

"When you get out. Come live with me." Red nodded her head vigorously.

Nicky hesitated. Not because she was going to say no, but because she wasn't really expecting that. She always had this vision of living with one of her friends back from before the days of drugs. But this...this was better.

"Yeah." She nodded her head slowly. Nicky started to cry again. "Ok, Mom. I'll come live with you."

Red wrapped Nicky in a hug so quickly that Nicky became dizzy and had to hold on tighter to keep her balance.

"5 months, not that long." Red tried to convince herself and Nicky.

"Really long."

"It'll be over before you know it."

"It's going to take forever."

They hugged in silence for several minutes.

"Ma?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Is it ok if I don't come and say goodbye to you in the morning? Can this be our goodbye? I'm not going to be able to handle it, I can already tell. I don't want to look like a complete wreck in front of the others. I'd rather go someplace alone tomorrow. Other people will think I'm a wuss..."

Red couldn't help but smile. Her daughter had started babbling like she always does when she attempts to hide emotion.

"Yes, that's fine. But listen to me." And Red cupped her daughter's face like she so often did. "This is not goodbye. You remember that. This is a 'See you later', ok?"

Nicky nodded her head. And started to shake as reality really began to hit her.

"It's going to hurt. It already has started to." Nicky said between sobs.

"I know, and it hurts me too. Probably more than you. Trust me." Red hugged her little girl again.

"But you're going to be alright in here. And I'm going to try my best to be alright out there. I'll have a room nice and ready for you."

"I'm going to miss you." Nicky cried.

"I'll miss you more, sweetheart."

More silent minutes passed by.

"Promise me something?"

Nicky nodded against Red's shoulder.

"Promise me that you won't do anything in here that I wouldn't approve of. Promise me that you will remain as strong as you are and as good as you are. And if you get in a sticky situation, you remember where you're going to be when you get out of here: with me. Promise me," Red hesitated to say it for fear of upsetting or offending her daughter, but she had to, "you'll stay clean."

Nicky knew she was going to go down that road. And Nicky knew it wasn't because Red didn't trust her. Nicky knew she just needed to hear her say it. Hear her say, "I promise. I'll be strong, for you, and for me. I won't do anything to mess it up. I promise."

Red sighed satisfactorily.

"Ma, I really am going to miss not having you here everyday." Her sobs became heavier.

"Listen, Nicky." She grabbed her daughter's hand and put it on her own chest. "Feel that?"

"Your heart."

"Yes, and when I was young adult, I had to have a heart surgery. They had to open one of my arteries up more. They used a device made of nickel."

Nicky smiled a little for the first time that night.

"So you see, I have nickel, Nicky, in my heart always."

Nicky's smile grew at the pun her mother was making.

"And look at this." Red took her daughter's hand off of her heart and put it on Nicky's. "Feel that?"

"My heart."

"What color is your heart, love?"

"Red." Her smile grew ever more.

"So you see, I am always here." Red pointed to Nicky's heart. "And you are always here." Red pointed to her own heart.

Red hugged her darling girl. And in her daughter's ear, she whispered, for the last time for the next 5 months, "I love you, Nicky, so very, very much."

And slightly muffled by her sniffles, Nicky replied, "I love you too, Mommy."

They didn't let go of each other for the next few long hours.

The next morning, one thought didn't leave her mind.

Red said her goodbyes to everyone that mattered to her. It all happened so quickly. Morello was crying, Boo was quiet, & Norma too had a tear in her eye.

One thought didn't leave her mind.

She was processed out, and changed into other clothes. She walked out to the van that would take her to the bus station. She looked back at the place that had been her home for over 15 years.

One thought didn't leave her mind.

She climbed into the van and put on her seat belt.

One thought didn't leave her mind.

She looked out of the van window up to the window of the second floor of Litchfield. There was her one thought.

Nicky, her daughter, her very sweet and loving Nicky, was standing at the window with her hand pressed against the glass, as if to say "Mommy, don't leave me here." She was bawling her eyes out and visibly shaking. Red's heart broke, as she knew it would and blew Nicky a kiss.

The van turned on and drove away. Red turned her head away from looking out of the window and let the tears roll down her cheeks.


	3. Chapter 3

It was as if no time had past when Red walked into her apartment in Queens. Of course it was empty, except for basic furniture, but it was home.

She walked through the living room and to her bedroom. She saw the king sized bed and, like a little kid, ran over to it and jumped on it, allowing her weight to sink her down into the pillow top mattress. It had been too long since she felt the comfort of a real bed. One that wouldn't mess up her back anymore.

Red had 3 days before her PO told her she had to get to working. She decided to take this first day and do nothing but lay in bed. She was as comfortable as she had ever been in over 15 years, and with this thought, she drifted off to sleep.

*Back at Litchfield*

It was lunch time.

"Hey, Nichols." Morello said as Nicky sat down at the table to join the rest of them.

"Hey, kid. How's it going?"

"Alright, you know. Adjusting to Red being gone and all. But it's alright, not so bad."

"Yeah, I'm trying to adjust, but it sounds like you got it easier than me."

"I know, you guys were the closest of us all. You gonna be alright?"

"Yeah, I've only got 5 months left in this shit hole."

"That's good to hear. It'll go fast." Morello said with a smile.

"Did she say where she was going?" Boo genuinely wanted to know.

"Yeah, she's headed to her old apartment that she had with her husband. He left it for her."

"Well that's decent of him." Piper chimed in. "And her shop?"

Everyone looked at Piper. After that lying stunt she pulled, she better be careful when she talks about Red's shop.

"She's opening it back up. She's going to start it up again. It'll be great." Nicky said matter-of-factly.

"When we are all out we should go and have like a family reunion." Morello suggested happily.

"Then we can taste Red's real cooking.." Boo trailed off at the thought of good food again.

"Gloria's running the kitchen again?" Alex piped up.

"Yup. Get ready for the spiciest food you'll ever have." warned Boo.

"Guys I'm going to go take a walk." Nicky announced as she got up.

"Alright."

"Have fun."

And she walked outside. There is a special spot the Red would always bring Nicky out to her first week here. It was back when she was recovering from not having drugs in her system. Every time Nicky would go to Red and tell her she was struggling with desires for drugs, Red would stop whatever she was doing- no matter what it was- and take Nicky outside to this spot. They both would sit there on the soft, green grass, with the sun shining on their faces. Red always said "Deep breathe in. Deep breathe out." It would go on for several minutes until Nicky was calm again. Sometimes, Red would even sing her a song in Russian to get her mind off of it.

Nicky knew if she went to this spot, she'd feel some kind of ease. She sat down, and took her deep breathes. She hadn't been out here for this purpose in a long while. It's been years, but she was glad she went because it did calm her down. Nicky continued to go out there, to their spot, everyday, for the next 5 months.

The end of the day had come. Finally Nicky was ready for bed. But she knew it would be a struggle. It was always a struggle. There wasn't a night that went by when Nicky didn't cry herself to sleep, missing her mother.

*In Red's apartment*

Red woke up from her slumber and looked at the clock: 7pm. She was hungry and figured she might as well eat dinner. Going to the fridge she realized there probably wouldn't be anything there. She opened it and was right: nothing.

She went to her closet to change and put on her favorite blouse and skirt. It felt so strange to be wearing a skirt, she almost didn't like it. But she looked in the mirror and thought she looked good.

"What would the girls say, 'Hella fine'?" She said out loud to herself, laughing a little.

She grabbed her purse and the little money that she was given to start her off before working and headed to the market.

Once there, Red was simply overwhelmed. So many possibilities, but in the midst of the chaos she knew exactly what she wanted. She didn't have a fortune to spend, but she made do with what she had. She got asparagus, carrots, and a chicken to roast. It was going to be good.

And indeed it was. Going home and cooking freely was something that Red missed, but didn't know just how much she missed it until she could do it. Her only regret was that she was eating alone. And would be for a while, she thought, until Nicky got out.

Red had been trying her hardest no to think too much about Nicky, otherwise she would drive herself crazy. But you can bet she had a calendar and was crossing out the days until November 20th, the day Nicky got out.

Red finished her dinner, which was really good, and decided to watch some tv. Apparently since she had been gone there was a new thing called Netflix. She decided to check it out.

The end of the day had come. Finally Red was ready for bed. But she knew it would be a struggle. It was always a struggle. There wasn't a night that went by when Red didn't cry herself to sleep, missing her sweet girl.

The next morning, Red decided it was time for her to go down to her store and see how bad off it really was. She walked a block and got there in no time. Once she got there, it turned out it really wasn't all that bad. A little dusty but she could fix that easily. The first thing she did was find a supplier. A new supplier. One that wouldn't fuck her over. She called around to local places and after about an hour of searching and asking the tough questions, she found one. She explained her situation, but left the 'I just got out of prison for the first time in over 15 years' part out, and they said she would be able to get a month's loan of their produce. She thanked them and proceeded to clean.

The next day, a shipment came in of enough ingredients for her to make a couple of batches of all that she used to sell and open up the store. As nervous as she was, she knew she had to get the show on the road.

She was able to stabilize herself and was actually doing really well financially speaking; this went on for the next few months. But what also went on for the next few months, was a constant state of paranoia. When would some of the members from the Russian mafia come in? Would they? Did they know she was out? Did they even have a way of knowing? That last question she knew was stupid- of course they did.

But the worst part, the one thing that never went away that she hated most of all, was the feeling that Nicky couldn't come home to her soon enough.

*Back at the Litch*

"Nicky I'm going to miss you so much." Morello said almost crying.

The gang through Nicky a going away party. It was November 20th, and Nicky was leaving.

"I don't know how you managed being in her without your Mom. I know I couldn't do that." Piper said, acting like she understood the emotionally toll that that had on Nicky, like usual. But that was alright, Nicky would let it slide today.

"It's been a real struggle for sure, but it's even alright. I've had you guys, which you all should know, you're all awesome. And I'm gonna miss you guys."

A group hug was beginning to form.

"Nichols, van's here." Wanda Bell interrupted their festivities.

Morello gave Nicky a super tight hug.

"It's not the end of the road, kid. Call me when you're out. Or come and find me. I'll be at Red's shop, working. You know where it is right? In Queens?"

"Yes, I'll find it."

"Stop crying." Nicky said softly, whipping Morello's cheeks dry with her shirt sleeve. "You'll be great."

"And so will you. Go get 'em, tiger!" They both laughed.

Nicky turned around to all of them and waved a final goodbye.

She processed out, changed clothes, and walked to the van and climbed in.

The longest 5 months of her life were finally over.

November 20th, it felt like her birthday.

Nicky didn't look back at Litchfield, she looked forward, because that's the direction she was headed.

The whole bus ride to Queens she couldn't stop thinking about Red, she was so excited.

Nicky walked by the store, it was closed for the day. So Nicky headed up the block to where she knew her mother's house to be. Red had given her the address before Red left.

Nicky climbed the stairs and before she knew it, she was at the door.

She took a very deep breathe and knocked twice.

Nicky waited for what felt like an eternity but was really probably only 5 seconds or so, and then the door opened.

"Hey, Ma."

Red didn't say anything at all. She locked eyes with her daughter, tears immediately blurred her vision, and she pulled Nicky into a very tight embraced that lasted for a very long time.


	4. Chapter 4

"Come in." Red said after an eternity of hugging her daughter in the door way. "Come, sit on the couch." Red directed her towards the living room.

This whole time, Nicky hadn't spoken a word.

Red went to get glasses of water.

"Here." And she extended an arm with a clear glass of water from a jug. Something Nicky hadn't seen in a long time. She took it, and took a sip. Water never tasted so good.

Red sat on the opposite side of the room, in a chair, so that she could comfortably see her daughter in her whole form.

"So. How are you?" Red asked so very warmly.

Nicky was silent. She just stared at Red, with her gorgeous brown eyes of hers. She was so still and stiff. It looked almost as though she was afraid to breathe. Like she was afraid if she moved an inch she would break something. She was sitting so straight up.

"Nicky?"

Still silent. She just locked eyes with Red and didn't look away.

Red dove deep into thought. The last time Nicky was outside of prison, she lived in a house with her mother who didn't care for her like she should have, in Red's opinion. Before prison, Nicky was addicted to drugs and had nothing going for her. She was not given a proper up bringing. Red's heart ached at how awful Nicky's childhood was; Nicky had told her everything. Most of the tie Nicky had to cut herself short because Red couldn't handle hearing the rest. Although she was an adult, she was still young enough for Red to raise her and give her the best guidance she possible could. She was her mother now, a responsibility Red would fight Nicky's biological mother for. Red was grateful for the girl in front of her. Red, who hadn't broken Nicky's eye contact this entire time, stood up and went to sit on the couch beside her daughter. She took her daughter's hand in her own, made sure that all of the love she felt for Nicky was plain to see, and said, "Nicky, it's alright. You're home. You're home now, my sweet girl."

That was it. That must have been what Nicky was waiting to hear because her eyes filled with tears and she laid down on the couch resting her head in her mother's lap, and bawled like a toddler. Red did what she instinctively knew what to do: she ran her fingers through her daughter's curly hair, shushed her, told her comforting and soothing words, and, like she hadn't done a very long time, she sand to her girl a lullaby in Russian.

Red could feel her daughter calming down the more she sang and stroked her hair. Her sobs became deep, even breathes, then became normal and steady. Nicky was very relaxed and Red peaked over to see her daughter's face. Tear marks stained her cheeks and her eyes were closed; her darling girl had fallen asleep.

Red stopped singing but continued to stroke Nicky's hair. Red couldn't stand the silence, there had been silence in her house for too long. So, without speaking above a whisper so as not to wake her sleeping girl, she said "Nicky, my sweet girl. I'm so glad you're home with me. I'm so happy you're here. I've waited, and you've waited, for so long. I must ask you in advance to forgive me. I will be very cautious with you and with myself to an extreme this next couple of days. You see, some of the guys from the mafia came by the store the other day. I was able to make it look like it was closed before they got close enough to tell. But they know it's back open, which means they know I back. Everyone knows Dimitri left to go back to Russia; so they know it's me. I was so scared. I feared for my life. My life is in jeopardy until I can get it straightened out with them, and I still don't know how I'm going to do that. And the whole time I was crouched down behind the counter, hiding from them, I couldn't help but think that I've dragged you into this too. I'm so...sorry." Red choked up, thinking of the harm that she has potentially put Nicky in. "But, I'm going to do everything in my power to keep you safe and sound. But that means you're going to have to listen to me. You've always listened to me before, so I have no doubts now. You thought I was protective in prison? Sweetheart, compared to out here where I have the ability, you haven't seen anything yet."

Red looked down at Nicky who was still sound asleep in her lap.

"I don't know why I have told you all of this if you're sleeping. I know I'll just have to say this all over again when you wake up."

Red was feeling tired herself. She looked at the clock, it was only 2 in the afternoon.

"You'll work with me in my store. It'll be fun, just like old times. Except you better learn real quick how to actually cook. I can't be selling burnt pastries in my shop. In our shop." Red smiled a big smile. She loved the idea that she had someone to share life with, and she would take her beloved daughter over anyone.

And then she laughed a little, thinking back to a time Nicky had helped her make cookies for a Christmas party one year. They came out black as coal. Yes, Red had much to teach Nicky about cooking, indeed.

Reminiscing on the happy memories, sitting up right on the couch not bothering to make herself comfortable for fear of waking up her daughter, Red drifted off to sleep.

About an hour or so later, Nicky opened her eyes slowly, forgetting for a moment where she was. She looked up and could see the face of her mother, she was sleeping. Nicky just stared admirably up at her for a few moments. Her mom had less lines in her face when she was asleep, she looked much younger and a whole lot more innocent. Nicky smiled, Red was innocent, at least in Nicky's world.

She did wake up at some point and did hear some of what she said while Red thought she was sleeping. Nicky heard the part about how some guys from the mafia came by her store. Nicky was too worried about that to let Red know that she was awake because she didn't want to talk about that just yet. But then when Red started talking about how she was going to protect her like never before, Nicky was so comforted at the thought and heard all of the love Red had for her in her voice that she fell back to sleep because she was so at peace.

About 5 minutes later, Red woke up herself. Red looked down at Nicky, who was still staring up at her and whispered, "Hi, honey."

"Hi, Mommy." Nicky replied. Red realizing this was the first time Nicky had spoke since she got here.

"Are you hungry?" Red asked as Nicky sat up.

"I'm starving."

"Let me see what I can cook."

"Oh, Ma, you can cook anything."

Red chuckled at Nicky's words.

"Let's see." Red said as she looked throughout the kitchen. "You don't like broccoli or spinach, so a roast is out..."

Nicky just looked at Red looking through the fridge and pantry. She couldn't help but tear up. She was so grateful to Red, her mother, for this. Without her, she'd have no real place to go. On top of that, she loved her so much, paid attention to her likes and her dislikes, like a real mother would. Nicky was so forever grateful.

"So how about that?" Red asked turning around.

Nicky hadn't heard her suggestion because she was too lost in thought.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" Red asked concerned, seeing Nicky's eyes for the first time.

"Nothing's wrong, Ma. Absolutely nothing is wrong. Everything is right." And Nicky smiled the most genuine smile Red had ever seen on her daughter's beautiful face. Red returned her smile.

"So would potato salad and baked chicken be alright?"

"That sounds great." Nicky replied.

"Good. Here." Red reached out her hand with an apron in it. "Take this."

"What for?"

"I'm going to start teaching you how to cook."

Nicky rolled her eyes but in a playful way.

"This is a very simple meal and I think you can handle it. I'll help you where you need it. Ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." Nicky said kind of hesitant. Based on her past experiences her and Red knew that cooking was not Nicky's forte.

"Listen," Red said excitedly. "It'll be fun. Now, wash your hands and let's get going."

And they did. They cooked their meal successfully, partially because Red did most of it. Nicky found that cooking really wasn't so bad, of course that's probably just because she had the best chef in the world at her side.

During dinner they talked about the last 5 months, both in prison and outside of it. They talked about the next day and how they were going down to the shop to check things out and get Nicky used to the location of items and such.

After dinner, Nicky insisted she go to sleep because she was tired.

"Let me show you to your room." Which Nicky had been so excited to see every since Red said she could live with her 5 months ago.

They walked down the hall way and Red opened the door leaving room for Nicky to walk in first. Red flipped on the light switch and heard Nicky gasp.

The walls were a glossy blue with a few scattered black and white pictures of New York City around the room. There was a beautiful white dresser with a large mirror, making for a wonderful vanity. And a matching nightstand by the bed, which was a queen and had the fluffiest white comforter that Nicky had ever seen. Everything was brand new, and if Nicky was being honest, looked kind of expensive. She looked to the window and saw white blinds that were closed because it was night, but she could just imagine the view.

Nicky stepped in the center of the room and did a slow 360 turn, taking in every aspect and all of the detail of the decor. She stopped in Red's direction and looked at her.

"Mom, this is.." She was lost for words. All she could do was smile. Red took the time to pick out all of these things for her; it meant the world to Nicky. Tears of gratitude came to her eyes for a second time that night. She walked over to Red and hugged her.

After their hug, Red walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a t shirt. "Old clothes of mine, I stuck them in there for the day you came. You can use these as pajamas for tonight. But there isn't anything else in the dresser. We can go tomorrow and get you more clothes. I would've had them ready and already bought for you but I didn't want to get anything you didn't like."

Nicky had another one of those moments when she involuntarily tuned Red out to feel all of this gratitude and to think how lucky she was to have such a wonderful mother.

"Tooth brush and tooth paste are in the bathroom just down the hall and to the left."

"Thank you. Mom," Nicky walked over and took her mother's hands. "For everything, for all of this. I am so grateful, really."

"I'd do anything for you, my sweet girl."

They hugged again.

"Good night." Red said as she pulled away and kissed Nicky on the forehead.

"Good night, Ma."

"Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams."

Red walked towards the door and started to close it behind her. At the last minute she poked her head back in and whispered,

"I love you, Nicky."

"I love you too, Mommy." Nicky sounded a little bit like a kid, but Red didn't mind in the slightest, and she closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning Nicky woke up to the smell of eggs, bacon, and coffee. She still couldn't believe where she was; it still made her so happy to think about.

She smiled at the thought of Red in the kitchen with slippers on and an apron that said "Kiss the Cook", with a giant chef's hat, and whistling some good morning Russian song; Nicky giggled.

She sat up and changed back into the clothes she arrived in, feeling both excited to get a new wardrobe but slightly guilty for Red spending her money on her. She knew she had no choice because she had no money of her own, but still.

She opened her door and walked towards the kitchen where the aroma of food only intensified.

"Good morning." Nicky said, more cheerfully than she thought she was capable of at this hour, it was 7 am.

"Ahh, good morning, sunshine."

"Sunshine, huh? That's a new one." Nicky poured herself a glass of water. "It smells really good. It's been a long time since I woke up to that kind of smell."

"Mhmm, and it's going to taste even better. It's just about finished." Red said as she put bacon and eggs on two plates. She put scrambled eggs on one plate and sunny side up eggs on the other and set them on the table. She then poured 2 cups of coffee, one with 1 teaspoon of creamer and with 2 sugar packets. The other she poured in 2 teaspoons of creamer and 2 sugar packets. The first coffee she made went by the plate with the sunny side up eggs and the second cup went by the scrambled eggs. Red sat down at the plate with the sunny side up eggs.

"I'm amazed." Nicky said in awe.

"Why?"

"Because you know exactly how I like things. I mean everything, from the decorated room to how I take my coffee and like my eggs."

"Well of course, honey."

"It's just that, I've never had that. You pay so much attention to my likes and dislikes. And I know you did the same thing when we were at Litchfield, but I guess it's just different now that we are in the real world, in a home."

"You want to know something funny? I don't even think about it. What I mean is, I don't try to remember what you like and what you don't like, I just do it." And Red smiled very sincerely at Nicky.

"Thank you."

"You're most welcome. Now, where would you like to get your clothes from?"

Nicky tried to rack her brain for the cheapest store she could think of. She in no way wanted to burden her mother even in the slightest.

"Ivern's. Nicky said with a half smile.

"Ivern's, huh? That place has been there for forever. Alright, we can go there. After breakfast?"

"Sure."

"While we are out, we ought to stop by the shop. We can go after, of course. You need to get used to where things go and how things are run."

"Right, sounds good."

They finished eating and finished getting dressed for the day. Before Nicky knew it they were out walking towards Ivern's which was only about a block and a half north.

Red was so excited. She raised 3 boys so the idea of taking Nicky shopping was very thrilling for her.

And likewise, Nicky was very excited. She never went on a shopping trip with her good for nothing biological mother. So this was going to be fun, she knew.

Once they reached the store as they were perusing through some of the racks, Red leaned over and said "Nicky, honey, pick out anything you'd like and as much as you'd like."

Red's words carried a sort of weight in them, her tone was so motherly. Besides her words, Nicky could hear 'My sweet girl, I want you to have anything and everything your heart desires, I want to spoil you rotten. You deserve the world, and I'll do everything I can to give it to you.' That's what Nicky heard, and that's what she knew Red intended. As touched as her heart was, Nicky would never, ever take advantage of this woman standing in front of her.

"Thank you, Ma."

"My pleasure."

And they spent the next 2 hours in the store with Nicky trying on things and asking Red either 'Yes?' or 'No?'

They left the store, bags in hand and Nicky said "I'm excited to see the store, Mom. I want you to know I really am going to work hard."

"I know you will, you'll have no choice." Red teased and they both giggled.

Finally they got to the shop, Red unlocked the door and they walked in and out the bags on the tables.

"This is it. It's not much but it pays the bills."

"This is fucking amazing! Are you kidding? It's better than I pictured after all those stories you used to tell." Nicky chuckled a little. "Whoa, is that the freezer?"

Nicky pointed to a very large door that said freezer. Red knew she wasn't asking a stupid question. Nicky was asking if that was 'the freezer' the one that the bodies went into. The freezer that the police went through and because of what was inside, wounded Red up in jail for over 15 years.

"Yes." Red said a little quietly, not giving it this much thought since she had been back.

"Ma, you and me here, I feel like we are going to feed everyone in Queens." Nicky said, eyes beaming at Red with pride of her new job.

Red smiled at her daughter's enthusiasm and genuine excitement; Red so appreciate that, it warmed her heart.

They explored a bit, and Red showed Nicky the basics for about an hour or so.

"You hungry, my girl?"

"I am. I feel like I'm always hungry."

"Well let's go home and make something. What do you feel like having?"

"Why don't you surprise me."

"Alright, I already know then."

And they left the store, made sure it was locked and secure and left to go back up to their apartment.

What Red didn't notice was that as they were leaving, across the street, a black car with very dark tinted windows, started up its engine and drove as the driver watched Red and Nicky enter the apartment building.


	6. Chapter 6

Red woke up freezing. It was the middle of winter but it shouldn't be this cold inside the house. Reluctantly, she got out of bed to check the thermostat. Red shivered the whole walk there, finally she got in front of it and put on her glasses. It read: 58 degrees. She looked at the clock, it was 3am.

"Im not going the rest of the night this cold." She said to no one in particular. She tried turning the knob slightly to the right but the moment she touched it, it shocked her.

"Ahh." She screamed, not because it hurt, but because it scared her. She didn't think through that the cold would've caused static.

Red heard a door open down the hall, "Ma?" Nicky hollered as she hurried down the hall.

"Aren't you cold?" Red asked once Nicky stepped closer so Red could see what she was wearing: shorts and a t shirt.

"Are you alright? Your scream woke me up." Nicky said, ignoring Red's question.

"Yes, I'm fine. The thermostat shocked me and scared me is all. I think it's broken. It's freezing in here."

Nicky walked over to check it out.

"Why aren't you wearing socks? You need to put socks on." Red said, sounding like a concerned mother. "I'm going to call in the morning to see if someone will come out and fix it."

"No need to do that."

Nicky fiddled with the front latches.

"Ma, I'm fine. And you will be too. I can fix this." Nicky said, looking at the inside because she managed to take the front casing off.

"Really?"

"Yeah, my job was in electrical, remember? This is easy. You got a tool box around here?"

Red went to the back of the pantry and pulled out a small kit of tools.

"Will this do?"

"I think so." Nicky opened it up and grabbed the tools she knew she needed. A couple of screw turns, a few taps to a gage, and she put the front casing back on.

"There. Try it."

"It's not going to shock me again, is it?"

Instead of answering, Nicky put her hand on the thermostat.

"No."

Red turned the knob and it worked; the numbers rose and she could hear the air unit getting louder as heated air began to push through the vents throughout the apartment.

"Wow, I'm impressed."

"It may have seemed like it, but I didn't waste my time at work." She laughed a little at what Luschek might say of her handy work.

"Alright, thank you. I'm going back to bed now."

"Ok, Mom. Good night."

"Good night. And get some socks on." And headed back to her room.

"I don't need socks!" Nicky called after her. She knew Red heard her because she waved off her response.

Nicky went back to her room and turned on the dim light on her bedside table.. She wasn't tired, she had spent a lot of time sleeping than she was used to. She decided to go through the details of her room. Nicky looked over at her vanity area. She never was really one to make her self look all pretty, it wasn't because she didn't want to. But she guess she never really had the opportunity. She saw something that she didn't notice before. It was like a book of some sort. She got up from her bed and walked over and picked it up. It was a book, called "Poems For My World" and on the front cover it had a pastel colored cartoon drawing of a woman holding hands with a little girl walking in a meadow.

She opened the book and to its first page and a note fell out. She walked back over to the light and sat back down on the bed. The note said:

'My dearest Nicky, the night we meant changed my life. As much as I have helped you and will continue to do so until my time on earth is finished, you need to know, that you are my saving grace. In you, I have found a very best friend, a true partner in crime, and above all else a daughter. A beautiful daughter who I love dearly and cherish sincerely. I saw this little collection of poems and instantly thought of my sweet Nicky. I hope you enjoy them as I have. With all of my heart, Ma."

"Red..." Nicky whispered out loud, not being able to help the one or two tears that tinkled down her cheeks. Her heart was so touched, so very beyond touched by this amazing woman.

Nicky didn't even think about what she was doing. She got out of bed and walked towards Red's bedroom, which she had been in only once before when she first go there when Red gave her a tour of the house.

She put her hand on the handle and didn't even hesitate, mainly because Red told her she never needed to.

"Ma?"

Silence.

Nicky walked over to her bed. She could see Red laying there on her side and walked around to the other side so she was facing Red.

"Ma? You awake?"

"What is it?" She looked at the her clock on her nightstand. "It's 5am." Red said groggily, her Russian accent as thick as ever.

Nicky climbed into her bed and gave her a big bear hug.

"What are you doing?" Red said as she finally broke her arms free from Nicky's tight hug and wrapped her arms around Nicky.

"I found the book of poems, and your note."

"Oh, my girl..." Nicky felt her mother's arms tighten around her and she felt a kiss on top of her head.

They were silent for several minutes.

"Sorry I woke you up for this."

"Oh that's alright. It is a better than an annoying alarm, which was going to go off in a half hour anyway. We need to eat breakfast and then get down to the store. We start our normal business hours today. Are you ready?"

"I've been prepared well."

"Good. Now come on, up you go." Red nudged Nicky off of her and sat up herself.

"Alright, alright. I'll see you in a few."

And Nicky left to go back to her room.

Red couldn't help but notice as she walked away that Nicky had socks on her feet.


	7. Chapter 7

They arrived at the shop about 2 hours later. Red turned on the 'OPEN' sign right away because they had prepped the store the night before. They were ready.

An hour passed with no one coming in, Nicky kept asking if that was normal and Red assured her that it was. And then finally, like Red knew it would, like it had for the past 5 months, the store became crowded. A large crowd in the shop always filled Red with a sense of pride; she loved feeling useful.

Nicky held up pretty well so far, sure it was only about an hour into the rush but still.

"Nicky, would you get more flour?"

"Sure, Can you tell me again where it is? I forgot."

"Walk-in cooler, bottom left shelf."

Nicky went to the back to to get some bags of flour. She couldn't help but smile. Seeing Red in the kitchen, taking command and all, reminded her of the good old days. And then she laughed a little at the idea of her good old days being the time in her life she spent in prison. But that's where she found a family, a mom. A mom that she was able to keep in her life outside of prison; it still could choke Nicky up if she thought about it for too long.

She grabbed the flour and walked back.

"Here you go."

"Could you help me make this batch?"

And they did. Together they mixed it with the proper amount of water and the other vital spices and ingredients. Nicky put them in the oven and a half hour later, they had fresh piroshkis.

Nicky set them out 4 to one plate and out them in the case. The set up looked real good. Nicky couldn't help but have a sense of pride as she marveled about the work that was being accomplished by her and her mother.

Although, her mother is the one who was really doing most of the work; at least for now. Nicky wanted to do as much as she could to relieve Red of as much work as possible. Not because she was trying to prove to Red that she was an excellent worker, no, it was more because she didn't want to see Red wince every now and then because she was in pain. Her back really affected her now that she was working almost full time again. Whenever Nicky said Red tense up and pause whatever she was doing, Nicky always asked if Red was alright, if she needed anything. Red's answer was the same each and every time: "I'm fine, honey. Thank you." But Nicky asked anyways over and over.

The day zoomed on by and before they knew it, it was closing time.

"Nicky will you sweep and I'll wipe counters? I don't mean to give you the harder job, it's just my back is killing and-"

"Say no more, Ma." Nicky cut her off. "I'll sweep, no problem." And she smiled at her mother.

"You're sweet, Nicky. Have I ever told you that?"

"Only about a million times..." Nicky's voice trailed off as she went to the back to get the broom. From what she could hear, the way Nicky's voice sounded she was smiling, which made Red smile.

"So how did you like your first day on the job?"bs he asked as she saw Njcky coming back up to the front.

"It's going to sound crazy but it kind of felt like being back at Litchfield. In this case that's a good thing." Nicky added quickly at Red's confused look. "You in the kitchen, me trying to help as best I can, it's nice."

"And you were a big help. I must say you've improved since we last baked together. And you'll only get better with time. You'll see."

"I think we make a great team."

"The best team."

Red went to the back to get some fresh sanitizer water for the rags.

As Nicky was sweeping, in the corner she found a folded piece of paper. Curious as ever, she reached down and picked it up. Unfolding it was kind of tricky; it looked like someone put in a lot of effort to fold it like this. Nevertheless, Nicky got it open. She couldn't read it, it was in another language. By the looks of it, it was Russian, no doubt. She stared at it confused, and heard Red coming back.

"Hey, Ma?"

"What's up?"

"I found this note, I'm pretty sure it's in Russian." Nicky walked over to her and handed her the note. "Must be some thank you note or something. Or maybe it's an appreciation note, saying how good you are doing in-" Nicky stopped mid sentence.

Red dropped the bucket of sanitized water.

"Ma?"

Red was shaking. "It's not a thank you note."

"Well what is it?" Nicky asked slowly.

Red was shaking all the more. She looked frightened to death.

"Ma...?"

Red walked around the counter to the windows of the store and shut the blinds as quickly as she possibly could but very sloppily due to her shaking but she went back and fixed them, then she went and locked the door. She sat down at a table and took a deep breathe, motioning for Nicky to come sit next to her.

"Nicky? Remember how I told you that the Russian mafia still had people out looking for me, to finish me off?"

"Yeah. Oh no, this isn't...?"

Red looked at the note and read: "Welcome back, Galina. She's like a daughter to you isn't she? It'll be a surprise whether she ends up motherless or you end up daughterless. Wait and see."

They were both silent for a few moments.

"We need to go back home. We've got to sneak around in case they are watching, no doubt they are. How else would they that your my daughter? And they were here! In the store! Nicky, I.." Red had no words. "Let's go. Stay close to me." Red said as she started walking towards the back door to head home. "Stay close to me." She added as she saw Nicky get up and follow behind her.

"Mom..." Nicky whispered, looking desperately at Red. "What do we do?"

"I don't know. But I'll figure something out. I promise."


	8. Chapter 8

After doing their best to remain in the shadows and take back ways, they got back home.

"Whoa. That was intense." Nicky sighed with relief as Red locked the door behind her. "You didn't notice anyone you recognized from the old days?"

"No. And if I'm being honest, I checked everyone out for this very reason. My level of paranoia has been sky high when I'm in that shop ever since I got back. And even more so since you've been there, as it should be." Red made a hand gesture referring to the note.

"Any idea on what we are going to do? We can't leave, not with our PO's, they won't let us."

"I know, I know."

Nicky sighed a very heavy sigh.

Red looked at Nicky with concern.

"Ma, this is really heavy stuff. This is like real deal. I mean I know I'm a criminal but that's because of what I did to myself. This type of stuff, people out to get you who won't hesitate to murder you in front of a million witnesses because they don't care, it scares the shit out of me. I don't know how you did it before things went bad."

"We were on the same side before, that's the difference."

"You? You were a mass murderer?"

"No, that's not what I meant. I- "

"Then what did you mean, huh?" Nicky went on, standing up from her seat and sounding both very frustrated and nervous. "Were you some kind of spy for them? Did you steal, rob banks and stores? If not a mass murderer then how about just a murderer? Have you killed people?"

"Nicky." Red said softly, sounding so fragile. "Who am I?"

"Red Reznikov. A woman who owns a shop in Queens. An ex-con. An ex-Russian mafia member. What kind of question is that?" Nicky sounded annoyed but a little hesitant.

"Who am I to you?" Red asked in her softest tone, that always made Nicky's heart warm.

"Mom. You're my mom." Nicky said slowly, realizing what Red was getting at.

"Think about that and then think about those questions you asked me."

A silent minute passed.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that."

"I know."

"It's just, the reality is hitting me and," she whispered, "I'm scared."

"I know. Nicky," she walked over to her daughter who was standing in the corner of the living room. "There is reason to be afraid, that's obvious. But what's also obvious, my sweet girl, is that you've got me, here with you and for you. You know I wouldn't let anything happen to you if I can help it."

"Yes, Ma. This I know; have known for a long time. You told me that often at Litchfield." She smiled. "And I do feel safe with you."

At this, Red's heart swelled.

"We are going to have to be real careful, really watchful and cautious while in the store. And you should probably have a consistent job in the back or something." Red suggested.

"How am I suppose to watch your back then?" Nicky sounded so offended, but in a cute way, Red thought.

"We can figure that out as we go I suppose." Red shrugged.

"I'm hungry, can we eat dinner?"

"Of course, of course. Spaghetti?"

"Of course, of course." Nicky mocked playfully.

"You cook." Red smirked.

Nicky gawked at her. Red just smiled.

"Fine. You won't want that again." But Nicky got to cooking.

*in the middle of eating*

"This is not bad at all; good even."

"Oh, geez, thanks."

They both laughed a little.

The next day at work went surprisingly smooth, with no notes or clues as to any danger. And so did the following week, and months..months went by with no sign of anything out of the ordinary.

One night after they had gone to their rooms for the night, Red got out of bed and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water. So there she was, in the kitchen, sipping her water and she heard a soft voice. Was that...talking? And indeed it was. She tuned her ear in closer and Nicky was talking.

Red walked down the hallway and put her ear to Nicky's door. Sure, she knew she was snooping, but she never got to spy on her daughter before. It was sort of fun, it's like a thing parents do, right? Red tried to rationalize it in her mind. As Red tried to focus, she could tell that Nicky was reading. It sounded familiar... The book of poems. Red finally realized.

'Awe, she's reading those poems I gave her.' Red thought, as her eyes teared up. 'She really is such a wonderful girl.' And that sent Red's mind on a long and winding path down memory lane. From the very first night they met and she helped Nicky through that nasty detox, to the time when Vee shocked her and Nicky plotted revenge for days, and even Nicky getting sent to Max and her last words to Red being "I love you." And now her girl was here, with her, appreciating the poems like Red hoped she would. When Red's eyes were dry enough, and she felt emotionally composed, she softly knocked on Nicky's door.

"You don't need to knock, Ma. Come in." She said ever so cheerfully.

Red sat down on the side of Nicky's bed. "What's up, kid?"

"Reading some poems, again."

"The book has close to 50 in there, what do you mean again?"

"I've read them all, twice now. Some of them three times actually. I have marked which are my favorites and which are most relatable. Look." And she turned to a specific page and handed Red the book. "See, the part underlined is the most relatable part of the poem and the ones with stars next to them are my favorite."

Red read the line Nicky had pointed out.

"She is her mother, no doubt, who often told her not to pout. 'When life throws you a nasty curve ball, I'll be there to catch you when you fall.'"

"I like this line too." Red said quietly, smiling. Trying hard to fight the tears that were threatening back in her eyes.

"How are you holding up, Mom? I mean about those guys from the Russian mafia, we haven't talked about it at all. It's pretty good that we haven't had any problems in the store, huh? Well do you think it's good or bad?"

"I'm not sure what to think of it yet. Certainly they are waiting for something, but I'm not sure what. They can't be waiting for us to forget about them, they know I could never do that. So I'm not sure."

"Well either way, it's lucky for now."

"That is true, honey." And she leaned over and kissed the top of Nicky's head.

"I feel like I don't say it enough, but thanks for letting me stay here."

"Oh, sweetheart I don't see it that way."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not 'letting you stay here', I asked you to live with me and you so kindly said yes. You know as much as you think I did that for you, and I did, but I also did it for me, selfish as it may seem. I need you here. And I don't mean because I can't or don't want to live on my own, I mean you saw me in prison for years wanting to be left alone. No, I need you here. I need Nicky here. My sweet Nicky. I love you too much for you to be away from me forever like you may have been because who knows where you would've ended up."

But this point, Nicky had laid down and covered up to listen to Red's words as though they were a bed time story.

"You know you're my favorite person, right?" Nicky said very childlike, which Red secretly loved.

"You've told me that several times before." Red smiled.

"And you've told me that you love me several times before." Nicky said a little mockingly but playful.

"Yes well that isn't something you ever stop saying. I'll tell you again, I don't care what you think, kid: I love you." Red said so lovingly that Nicky felt all warm inside.

"And I love you too. More in fact." Now Nicky was treating this like a game, although they both knew and very serious and true game.

"Impossible." The way Red said that made Nicky stay very still. She didn't know exactly what it was other than the tone in Red's voice. Red said it in such a way that Nicky believed her, truly believed her. As though it really was impossible for Nicky to love Red more. She looked into her eyes and could see that truth, it was real.

After a few seconds of silence, Red stood up. "I need to be getting to sleep now." Although she knew she wouldn't.

"And you need sleep too." Red prayed she would.

"I'm ready to open up the store tomorrow." Although she wished the morning would stay far away.

"Good night, Nicky, sleep well." She really hoped Nicky would sleep well.

"Good night, Ma. I hope you sleep well too." Red knew she wouldn't.

Red knelt down by her daughter's bed and took her hand in her own. "Nicky, I love you very, very much. Please never forget that."

"I love you very, very much too. And I won't ever forget that, Ma. I promise."

Red stood up, kissed the top of Nicky's head, like she so often did, and walked towards the door. Hand on the handle, she turned her head and whispered one more "I love you" which Nicky returned, and walked toward her room.

Once there, Red went over to her dresser and opened the top drawer and pulled out a piece of paper and read it twice. The last line said "See you this Saturday, can't wait!" Red crawled into bed wishing she could sleep but knowing she wouldn't for the next two nights. She couldn't get her mind off of the new note she was given today by men from the mafia.


	9. Chapter 9

Friday night came quicker than Red wanted, because that would mean in the morning she didn't know what she faced.

Originally, Nicky wanted to go out to a Russian restaurant to compare their cooking with Red's, but Red convinced her they ought to stay in.

"Let's order pizza."

"Well that sounds really good too. Although I would love to compare Russian food with authentic Ran food. Who knows where those people come from or what their food is made of."

"Another time we can do that. What kind of pizza would you like?"

"Pizza. Pizzzzzzzaaaaaa." Nicky said in such a silly tone that made Red laugh.

"You don't like pepperoni." Red said after her laughing spell was over.

"I don't like pepperoni. You know what's funny is that we have never eaten pizza before, not even sure we've talked about it, and yet you know that I don't like pepperoni. How?"

"Well you don't like spicy food."

"Ahhh, yes. I don't like spicy food. But, umm, let's see..I do like ham and pineapple on my pizza."Nicky finally managed to say.

"Interesting. That's my favorite kind, well right after cheese."

"Cheeeeeeese. Oh stop, Ma. My second favorite is cheese and my first favorite is the one with had pineapple on it."

"So we are opposites." Red concluded, playing along with Nicky's game like attitude about this whole hing; which Red found to be very amusing.

"And yet we are the same." Nicky said and they both were silent, realizing the truth to the statement.

"Do you want both?"

"You want to pig out on pizza and watch Netflix all night?"

"And ice cream."

"Yes, and ice cream."

Once the pizza had arrived and they had finished their first movie Nicky said, "Yeah, this is way better than going out."

Red smiled at her in return. "I'm glad you feel that way."

"So what are we watching next?" Nicky said as she took another bite of pizza.

"Oh it doesn't matter to me."

"Then let's watch a scary one, any scary one."

Red picked a random one and they were entertained well until midnight.

"Hey Nicky. Nicky!" Red said louder when she wasn't responding. Red finally just looked over at Nicky and instantly regretted raising her voice. Her sweet girl had fallen asleep.

Red got up from her side of the couch and walked over to her sleeping daughter. She put her hand on her shoulder and gently shook her.

"Nicky." She whispered this time. "Nicky it's time to wake up."

Nicky opened her eyes quickly, "What? Is it time for work?"

"No, sweetheart, not yet. But it is time to go to your bed."

"Alright." Nicky said, sitting up and yawning.

"Good night, Ma. Love you, sweet dreams." She kissed Red on the cheek, something she rarely did, and went to bed.

"I love you too." Red said after her.

Red walked to her bed and feared for the morning. The men from the mafia were coming and she knew they were people to fear. Only God knew what they were going to do. The note didn't reveal anything other than they'd see her Saturday but she thought back to the first note she got: 'It'll be a surprise whether she ends up motherless or you end up daughterless. Wait and see.' She didn't know for sure if their plan would take place tomorrow but she had a panic and horrific feeling in her gut that told her they were going to do something along the lines, if not go through with what they were hinting at.

Red started crying. What has she done? She has put Nicky in a life threatening situation. Red didn't care so much about herself, she knew what she potentially had waiting for her once she got out, but Nicky...Nicky was her sweet little girl who had nothing to do with this and now her life was at risk and it is all Red's selfish fault.

Her crying turned into weeping at these thoughts of danger she put Nicky in.

"What have I done? What have I done?" She kept repeating in a whisper over and over again.

She hadn't told Nicky about it on purpose, she was waiting until the morning before the store opened to tell her. What good would it have done? She would have spent her days like Red, full of anxiety and worry, and nights like Red, sleepless and full of dread and fear, and Red would be damned to have Nicky go through that if she could help it.

But what good was she really? What kind of mother was she really? Asking her daughter to come and live with her knowing the risk? And now the risk was reality and Red had so much guilt and fear churning in her gut it was physically painful.

Red did the best she could to muffle her cries in her pillow and was so afraid her door was going to open and Nicky ask what was wrong. She looked at the clock. It was almost 4am already, time was going by so fast and she didn't want it to. She'd have to tell Nicky what was going to happen in 2 hour's time.

Red, even though it was to herself this time, did something that always comforted Nicky, she sang a Russian lullaby. But for Red this time, it did little to comfort and only passed time. Red lay awake, her mind drifting to all of the possibilities that the day would bring, she never once stopped crying...

Her alarm went off.

She saw the kitchen light turn on from the crack underneath her bedroom door and knew Nicky was getting her glass of orange juice. Every morning at 6:03am sharp, she opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of orange juice, and it had to have pulp.

Red got up, her feet found her way to their slippers and she walked out into the kitchen.

"Good morning, Mommy." Nicky said still sounding half asleep.

"Morning. Nicky I've got to tell you something."

For the first time Nicky looked at Red and gasped a little. Her eyes were bloodshot and glasses which told Nicky two things: 1). She was crying all night and got no sleep. 2). This was not good news.

Nicky decided to play the mom, but not in a mocking way at all. She put her hand on Red's upper back and directed her to the couch where she gestured for her to sit down. Nicky took her mother's hands in her own and kindly asked, "What is it, Ma?"

Red thought how could she have gotten so lucky to have this sweet girl as a daughter.

"Ok, Nicky, I got another letter from the mafia the other day."

Nicky immediately felt panic. "And?"

"They said they were coming to the shop on Saturday."

"Ma, that's today. Today is Saturday."

Red could hear the panic rising in her voice. "I know. I don't know what they are going to do or when they will be here-"

"Mom, the note. The first one. They are going to kill us. Or one of us. You remember the note?" Nicky had tears in her eyes and was possibly on the verge of a panic attack.

"Yes, yes. I know. Nicky you've got to listen to me."

"Ok."

"This is very serious. If I say hide, you hide. If I say run, you run. If I tell you to leave the store, even if it means I stay there, you must go. Do you understand?"

Nicky slowly nodded her head.

"Remember what I'm saying." Red's voice rang with desperation, as they both knew she had only said that to Nicky once before...

"Nicky, I will do everything in my power to keep you as safe as possible. I promise. From now on. I promise. I know I've already failed." She sounded defeated.

"Why do you say that?"

"I asked you to come live with me, I knew the risk and look what has happened..." Red's voice trailed as she started crying again, the painful guilt coming back.

"Ma, it's ok." Nicky moved closer to her and hugged her, which Red returned very tightly. "I know what you're saying about putting me in risk, but it's not your fault the mafia wants to finish business." Nicky was crying too at this point. "But we will get through it, we always have before, and we will now, and we always will."

They stayed like that for the next hour before they had to leave to go to the shop. Both holding on to each other tightly, both in fear, and both hoping that Nicky's were true.


	10. Chapter 10

It was time to leave the house and get to the store. Red didn't know if they should talk or be silent, so she asked, "You going to be alright?"

"Well I've got you don't I?" Nicky replied, sounding like a little child.

"Yes, my sweet girl. You've got me."

They reached the store and nothing was out of the ordinary, in fact it stayed like that for the majority of the day. It all ran smoothly as usual which was not expected by either of them.

Of course the constant fear and anxiety never went away but business wise it was a normal day.

It was closing time.

Red looked at Nicky.

Throughout the day they had exchanged glances and made sure to make eye contact as often as the busy store allowed. It was obvious they were not scared.

"What do you think?" Nicky said slowly as the last customer of the night left. "Anything? Notes? Suspicious people?"

"No, did you see anything?"

"No, I didn't. Maybe they chickened out?" Nicky said sounding half hopeful.

"I don't think so, honey. Go ahead and start sweeping, I'll lock up."

As Red was walking towards the door she heard some ruckus outside, just outside the door.

Red looked back at Nicky who was already looking at her, so very frightened her face looked that Red's heart started the breaking process.

"Ma?"

Red put her finger to her lips and Nicky stood very still.

"When they are here, don't say anything. And especially don't call me Ma or any of the sort. Do you hear me?" Red whispered.

Nicky nodded.

"I love you." Red mouthed silently to her daughter.

"I love you too." Nicky mouthed back.

All of a sudden the door swung open. It was them. It was some men from the mafia.

"Get in here, come on!" One man, who was already in the store called back to the others. "Yeah, yeah. They're in here." He looked up at Red. "Hello, Galina, how are you?" He said as if he was seeing an old friend for the first time in years. The other two walked in. It was clear now that the first man to come inside was not the one in charge.

"Galina." The second man, who was clearly the one in charge, nodded at her.

Red didn't know his name. Or any of heir names for that matter. She wasn't allowed.

"What do you want?" Red asked in a sort of demanding way but tried not to sound too confident, she knew that would not go over with them well.

"Well, for starters, I want your money. All of it."

For starters? Red feared what else they wanted. She would gladly give them all of the money in the store if that was all they wanted. But she knew there was more to it than that and she was afraid.

"Well, go on." The man sort of yelled when Red didn't move right away.

Hesitant but compliant, Red turned her back on the mobsters and walked towards back behind the cash register which was behind the counter. On her way, she passed by Nicky. Red was very careful of what she did or said in reference to Nicky. Who knows what those men were willing to do to either one of them if they acted as though they were going to protect each other. Disregarding the possibilities of what the men could do to Red, she gave a very small reassuring look to Nicky, who Red knew could not return the look because Nicky was still facing the direction of the mobsters.

At the register, Red opened it and put all of the money into a bag. She was about to walk over to the men again but heard one of them say, "Here." And he handed out his hand. One of them had walked up to where the customers pay.

"Now that that is settled," he pulled out a gun and the others followed suit, "let's move on to the real reason we are here."

Red knew her face had gone white, she was afraid but did her best to not let her fear show, she could feel her knees begin to buckle and she could feel the dread rising in her.

Red was still behind the counter and Nicky was over by the chairs in the dinning room part of the shop. Red looked at Nicky through the corner of her eye and whispered in a tone of desperation and sincere pleading, "Come here."

Nicky started to move ever so slightly towards Red but she stopped dead in her tracks and both Nicky and Red snapped to attention when the leader of the group of men held up his gun and pointed it to Nicky, "No, no, no. Don't move."

"Don't move." Red whispered to Nicky in the same desperate and pleading tone.

Red did not have a gun of her own, she couldn't because of her parole, and no way to defended them. She panicked.

"In my original note," the leader went on to say, "I mentioned that you," he looked at Nicky, still pointing his gun at her, "would end up motherless. Or you," he turned to look at Red and now pointed his gun at her, "would end up daughterless."

The first thing that came to Red's mind was 'Shoot me, not her.' But of course she couldn't say that.

"May I ask why?" Red couldn't stand to be silent.

"Why? Well it's obvious isn't it? You took the life of my brother."

"I did not, Dimitri did and you know that. Everyone knows that." Red said, a little more angrily than she intended to show.

"Yes, well, he isn't here is he? So that leaves you. I was caused pain, so I must cause you pain. Then we will be finished with you forever. You don't feel pain if you're dead, so..." He pointed his gun back at Nicky. And the other two pointed their guns at Red.

As if it were meant to be, sirens started to ring out outside.

"Did you call the police? Did they know we were coming?" The head mobster asked, sort of letting his panic seep through his voice.

Red shook her head quickly.

"Shit! Go ahead guys."

Bordeline chaos. All Nicky heard was Red scream "Get down!" As shots rang out.

Red was able to duck behind the counter but Nicky only had chairs and tables to defend herself. Red couldn't see her! God why couldn't she see her?

Shots were still being fired even though the sirens got louder and louder.

"Alright, that's enough. Let's get out of here before we ended up behind bars."

Red heard one more shot and then heard them leave the shop. She stayed behind the counter up, and called out to Nicky, "I'm good, one skimmed my arm but only got my shirt, I may have a bruise on my head from the counter but I'm alright. Nicky?"

No response.

Red looked up from the counter and indeed all three of the mobsters were gone. And so were the sirens...was it a coincidence they went by? Must have been because no one arrived to help them.

"Nicky!" Red yelled as loud as she could manage as she made her way to the other side of the shop were Nicky was.

"Nicky, you better answer me."

"Ma..." Nicky whispered, it sounding like her whisper took a lot of effort.

"Oh my God." Red gasped, putting her hand over her heart and dropping to her knees.

Nicky had been shot in the chest.

"Nicky..oh God.." Tears. So many tears came from Red's eyes.

"Can I lift you up? If I put your weight on me can you walk? We've got to get you to the hospital! It's only a block it'd be faster if I could walk you there then call an ambulance."

Red put Nicky's arm around her shoulder and was about to hoist her up.

"Nicky? Nicky stay awake...please.." Red said loudly in order to keep Nicky awake. Red knew what she had to do. Red was so scared. So afraid.

"Nicky answer me!" Red said desperately as she say Nicky's head start to lull over.

"Nicky!"

"Ok." Nicky said so quietly.

Red slowly stood up and brought Nicky with her. The pain of her back didn't even bother her. All of her attention was focused on the one thing that mattered to Red most in her life: Nicky.

Red managed to get them out of the shop and were walking along the street.

"Ma..hurts..."

"I know, sweetheart, don't worry. We are almost there." They had about 3/4 a block to walk.

Blood was seeping through Nicky's shirt so quickly, Red was so scared.

"it's ok, it'll be alright. You're going to be just fine. Stay awake, Nicky. Stay awake." Red tried to comfort her girl as best she could and tried her hardest to keep the heart ache out of her voice, although she gave up tryin"g to hide it on her face. Her crying became sobs a long time ago when she realized what was most likely going to happen.

"Ma, I gotta..lay down." Nicky's breathing was raspy and she seemed like all of the energy was draining out of her.

In the back of Red's mind, she knew this was what was going to happen the moment she say Nicky for the first time after the shooting.

"Ok, ok." Red's eyes were so full of tears and her voice was so shaky with uncontrollable sobs. Red was correct that it would be faster for them to walk to the hospital but it wouldn't have been fast enough.

She slowly sank to the ground and made sure Nicky got there gently and smoothly.

She situated herself very close to Nicky.

"Come here baby girl. Come here, let Momma hold you." Red said as the tears streamed down her cheeks so fast and so plentiful, placing Nicky's head in her lap, probing her up, and bringing her as close to her as she could without causing her any more pain.

"Nicky, I'm so sorry, it's my fault. I know it is and I can't tell you how I feel. My heart..aches so much.." Red was almost not understandable. Her tears and sobs and coughing had got the better of her as she combed her fingers through the hair of her beautiful daughter in her lap.

"Not you fault...no one's fault but that guy.."

"But I-"

"Ma, I would've ended up dead because of drugs months ago if you hadn't taken me in. I have no regrets. If this is how it ends, I wouldn't take a second back if it meant I wasn't with you. I needed you and you were there. Don't apologize for it..."

Nicky's face was getting paler and paler.

"Ma, you gotta promise me...you..won't...blame yourself...please..don't.."

"Ok, I promise you...I promise." Red's heart finished the breaking process.

"Thank you for..loving me..like you did when...I ...didn't deserve it.."

"My beautiful Nicky, you desvere all of the love in the world...all of it...I love you, I love you, I love you...love you...you need to know." Red whispered over and over again to her wonderful girl.

"You are the best mom...everyone needs one like you.."

"Everyone needs a daughter like you. Everyone."

"I got to...go to sleep..now..tired.."

No. Hang on, don't go, don't leave me... Is what Ted wanted to say, that's all her heart was screaming at her.

"Go ahead baby girl. It'll be ok."

"I'll see you again. I love you, Mommy. So much...I love you.."

"I love you more..." Out of her mouth and into Nicky's ears. Her darling girl breathed her last breath with a smile on her face and Red knew she had heard her words.

And Red sat there, in the middle of the street at almost 2 am, with her lifeless daughter in her arms, not knowing whether she herself wanted to see the morning's sunrise.


End file.
